Two weeks ago I listened to Shala Nicely Licensed Professional Counselor in an interview with Victor Yalom: https://www.psychotherapy.net/coronavirus-resources, I was inspired to share my "takeaways" with you. It's a 9-minute long video directed toward counselors but helpful for anyone I think. They have a few updates with new professional opinions as this reaches your inbox. There is SO much out there addressing issues of this time so let me know if you need any ideas for you or your family.
So, are you having some anxious feelings? Ah, the worry and what to do with it? I have found during this time the more I embrace it the more it subsides. Embrace the feelings. This is so often the “to do” I hold in my mind when I offer in-person work with folks, but I'm not sure I say it enough. What if you turn toward the feeling? I gently suggest you turn toward your feelings over and over and over, without labeling the anxiety, sadness, anger, as “bad”. If you can catch yourself in that habit and try a different approach I believe feelings will subside faster than you thought possible. And, if you find the wave of feeling too large, it is important to reach out to a hotline, a professional, a coach, a friend, a doctor, a healer, and family members too.
I have been down the rabbit hole already of “why I am so nervous”...” At times my heart has been hurting, racing as I say to myself "I feel so sad”. It feels like I am in a spiral and I don't want to do much. Even if you are seemingly in a low-risk place, it still can hurt. If you are high risk right now, then all of the big emotions make a lot of sense (to say the least!). I do notice as I hit send on this, some of these larger experiences are softened for me. Adjustment? Acceptance?
These are intense times I don't want downplay the intensity of the feelings you may be experiencing. Let's say there is some anxiety present more than before. We tolerate some level of anxiety in our everyday lives. At this time, when there seems to be "more" to feel anxious about… it can help greatly if you can “befriend” the anxiety. Yes, I think/hope it really can help. Literally saying out loud “welcome anxiety, it makes a lot of sense that you are here”. This practice meets these feelings as friends that are yearning to be known. It reminds of an amazing quote:
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
What if, with all these deep questions we could “draw" them out!?
Are they gremlins, green blobs or purple scribbles?
What do all the feelings want to say?
What if - your feelings can take the form of an angry red splotch made with a marker?
What if - you use any implement you have on hand; paint, pen, marker, food coloring to create the manifestation of this time?
What if - anxiety and feelings take form in your favorite "rager" song from your teens?!
My friend shares she's been listening to “rage against the machine". I am more of an Ani DiFranco listener. "Old" songs seem to allow these more difficult feelings to flow. If you are a teen, find your song and turn it UP! I know it's right there on your phone. What if - you share it with us older folks!? Can you put “anxiety's face” on a pillow and speak, or sing, or yell to it. Do these practices however you need to and insert any feeling you are feeling.
I am very curious to hear about what you will find if you try these interventions. On my site below there are ideas of materials to gather and prompts to start your art process if you are curious. I am trying these ideas during these weeks and as we all see now this is a marathon, not a sprint. If none of this seems doable today save this for another day? I am guessing that, after my own personal “ air guitar session to Beastie Boys” I may feel some helplessness, sadness, maybe even grief later on. There is no right or wrong in these techniques.
If you are a doctor, nurse, grocery work, delivery person, police officer, EMT, firefighter, any hospital worker (!!) many therapists are holding spots through new programs offering free therapy for you.
Reach out to me if you want help finding therapy for someone on the front lines, or if you yourself are in need of support reach out.
Are you swamped with work, a kid (or two) at home, worried about the next paycheck? I know that is freaking hard, and I don’t have an easy solution. I want to help you find resources, so please email me. Finding yourself resources that help you as you struggle to address everyone's needs as you work is essential. I have discovered several options to help out folks economically impacted.
We all will have folks that may be affected by the coronavirus in our lives. This is a different time. It is a time I hope, to slow down. Turn toward yourself and be ok with how you are right now. We are all fighting in some way for our lives and thousands of people around the globe are dying. This weighs on our collective hearts.
I hope this "short" blog was helpful. I wanted to reach out to let you know I am here. Feel free to reach out to me, as I have some time for brief check-ins. I love and will continue to offer local and web-based referrals.
Crisis hotlines are a good place to start if you are someone you know needs immediate help. Our local hotline is: Starvista Crisis Hotline (San Mateo County) (650) 579-0350 Crisis Text Line Text BAY to 741741
Visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org for important crisis support and for additional phone/chat options (online chat, Spanish speakers, Veterans, deaf or hard of hearing or disaster distress line), resources and to learn the warning signs of significant mental health issues.
Be well, reach out, and I truly hope to see you soon!
With love,
Bridget
Links to my "new" online business and I can still be reached in San Mateo @ 650-539-4325
https://linktr.ee/bhopeb
A few more resources:
Local San Mateo, CA resource but good for all, talking to kids about COVID, in Spanish and English,
https://www.smcoe.org/other/for-families/talking-about-covid-19.html
Please reach out with your response, comments, or questions: bridget@expressivearts.work