have anxiety? try an art practice

The photo below is one of the first pieces of art I made at the Person-Centered Expressive Arts training, where I started my art practice earnestly. You can read more about this training on my website:

www.transformationcollective.space

I am SO excited about the new name, and I want to share all about that, but for now…

This week, especially, I thought you might need something to calm your nerves! First, I will share a little story and some old art.

The woman in the photo above is disconnected from herself. [Photo ID] A small white Barbie-like doll was pulled apart and glued back onto a cardboard box. Using glue gun glue, beads, fabric reminiscent of quits my grandmothers made, and the pièce de résistance, a rainbow button. [end photo id]

This art tells a story of whimsy and chaos. This was made toward the end of the first year of when you know, who’s the president. At the time I made this art, I was married to a cis man, but I think my identity was beginning to surface in the art. You think, rainbow/chakras everywhere!

That is the powerful impact of an art practice! You can see parts of yourself you could never speak about or even start to feel.

I used to call myself a late-in-life lesbian. Sometimes I call myself a “right on time” queer. The identity of dyke/lesbian/queer all feel interchangeable to me. Knowing that you can imagine, these times are stressful, and, I am the mom of a trans son.

So, it’s a lot to think about and feel in these recent years. Do we get to exist, yes, I will fight to exist. I have white privilege, economic privilege, and educational privilege, and I am still profoundly stressed out about the state of our world. I feel heartbroken that we can’t do better for each other, hence the art practice. Keep reading for inspiration. It’s coming!

Art practice Invitation

First step: label your anxiety and befriend it. A common phrase in the mindfulness world is tend and befriend (created by Shelley Taylor, a social psychologist at UCLA). So if we tend to our internal world and our feelings and befriend the states of being that are happening inside of us, we will have a lot more success than if we push them away or shove them down. And I know that a lot of you reading this know that, but I thought it would be helpful to share via a blog post. We are in this together. I hope you can soothe some of your days of intermittent worrying or perhaps some extreme anxiety with some art. You can say, “Hello, anxiety, let’s make some art”. It does not matter what the art looks like. Just keep saying yes, no matter what comes up. If you need more inspiration, it does not have to look pretty. I have a lot of examples. Please write to me @ bridget@expressivearts.work.

2nd step: open your art journal. Bridget - “I don’t have an art journal yet.” No problem. I like this smaller version, which is less expensive than larger art pads:

Strathmore 300 Series Mixed Media Pads (5.5 x 8.5) and this set of paints: Sakura Koi Watercolor Half Pan and a set of Winsor & Newton Promarker Brush Markers (or any other permanent marker). You will be good to go for months and months into the future after these purchaces.

3rd: Draw a circle in the middle of the open page. The circle will go across each page, as pictured above.

I think it is important to cross the midline of your body. There will be more lengthy posts about this in the near future. Lastly, keep adding circles, lines, or any other shape you want. Here is another example:

You will notice I often end up with many circles and triangles in the corners (see an example below). No matter how often I do this, I don’t get tired of it. You can alter the practice in any way. Please tag me on the socials #transformationcollectivespace or follow along at:

Instagram

I look forward to being more in touch in the upcoming weeks.

I wish you a lot of time for quiet reflection away from the onslaught of digital media and US elections. Yes, we need to be informed, but we also get to take breaks.

Peace,

Bridget

PS, I would love to know what you think of the updates on my website. Check out the MNDFL page for some invitations into mediation:

https://transformationcollective.space/

Transformation Check-In for LGBTQ FOLKS

Are you feeling stuck, frustrated with yourself, or eager to jumpstart your routines?

Has day-to-day life, job loss, midlife transitions, kids leaving the house, or divorce led to feelings of deep grief? You're not alone—we're here to help you get unstuck.

Imagine waking up each day and taking small but meaningful steps toward your goals. Do you want life to look profoundly different, or are you simply seeking a shift? Either way, that's okay. Lasting change comes from small, consistent actions, and we’ll help you create a plan.

At Transformation Collective, we share our stories and offer practical insights to support your healing and transformation. We believe in the power of community, so once we have two clients, you can connect with others via phone or in a Mighty Network space (think Facebook, but without ads or Trump-voting uncles!).

While there’s no pressure to participate in this part of the program, we know true transformation happens when we support one another. That's why we're called Transformation Collective. We offer one-on-one coaching with weekly support tailored to your needs.

I will be with you every step of the way. As our community grows, we’ll introduce additional coaches and healers to enhance your journey.

I’m Bridget (she/her), a white lesbian and the mom of an amazing trans son. I've been guiding people back to their true selves for decades. For over twenty years, I’ve embraced the transformative power of play. Like many, I struggled with routines until I discovered the person-centered expressive arts. Now, I help others integrate art, meditation, and movement into their lives as a source of nourishment and healing. I can help you do the same.

anti-racism-commitment - live and updated link

Please reach out to discuss this commitment or ask questions.

I am very happy you are here.

link to my live anti-racism commitment

art practice invitation

First Steps to Starting an Art Journal

Step 1: Get a Journal. Buy a mixed media or watercolor journal. You can find one at a local art store or order online from places like Dick Blick.

• Canson Mixed Media Journal or Strathmore 500 Series Visual Mixed Media Journal are choices I like.

Pay attention to the weight of the paper. Ensure it’s meant for watercolor or mixed media to handle glue, water, and paint without buckling. If you’re new to art, a slight buckling might still happen, so don’t worry—embrace the process!

Step 2: Gather Your Materials Do you have markers, pens, pencils, watercolors, paints, glue, tape, old magazines, or random items you’ve meant to toss out? Gather them all in one spot—your art journal space. A glue gun is also a fun tool to have!

Here are some other ideas for art supplies:

• Faber-Castell Goldfaber Color Pencils

• Sargent Art Watercolor Crayons

Step 3: Create Your Space. If you like, light a candle or incense to set the mood. Open your journal to the first page. Place your hands on it and ask yourself, “What is already here that I’d like to express or explore?” By "here," I mean within you—your body, mind, thoughts, and feelings. There’s no right or wrong.

Start writing. Fill the page, rotate it 90 degrees, and write over what you wrote. Keep going until the words overlap and are unreadable. Let everything flow without editing (check out my example above. In the image, you will see this kind of text). Remember, no one else will ever read this—unless they’re a forensic scientist, and even then, why would they care about your inner thoughts?

Step 4: Get Messy and Have Fun Now, grab some paint, markers, and glue. Layer it over what you’ve written. There’s no right or wrong—pick colors that feel right for you in the moment. Let your creativity take over!

Step 5: Share and Ask Questions. I’m here to support you. Feel free to reach out, and I’ll get back to you within two days. I’m excited to help you stay committed to this process. You’ll soon crave this time for yourself. You can even get your family involved if you want! Sharing with friends and family is a great way to stay accountable.

suffering and the path out

Everywhere I go I see more struggle than before. What has been most helpful for me during these times of struggle is a renewed commitment to my sitting meditation practice. Here on “expressive arts work” an online for now business we will create art, meditate, and move. Tired of zoom? Let’s chat on the phone while you draw, move, meditate, sculpt or read a poem! I deeply believe and I know I am not the first to stay it "art heals". Living an artistic life, a meditated life, a life full of time in nature clearly helps us feel overall better. How do you track that commitment? Can you take a look at your photos and celebrate those times in the outdoors, even if it's taking a photo of the tree around the corner from your house.

positive discipline info

I am excited to offer you these links and talks. Click below on each talk title and handout to download the ideas. I love speaking on positive discipline, parenting and how parent coaching can support this process of learning new ways to parent. I hope this will give you a sense of what I can offer in the online zoom groups I will offer via expressive arts work. There are many experiential exercises I lead that will support your parenting! I can come speak at your workplace, playgroup, or spiritual group. Please reach out and hear about the exciting new groups I will offer in February on zoom! Also you can buy your spot here (click the link). Please reach out with questions and comments at: bridget@expressivearts.work

Curiosity Questions

Managing BIG emotions the power point

Managing BIG emotions handout

Discipline 101 the power point

Discipline 101 the handout

Mindful Parenting the power point

Mindful Parenting the handout

Parenting Resources

and last but not least "the mistaken goal chart" a great parenting tool!

parenting

It’s incredible how much parenting is talked about, written about, and stressed over. I can see how parenting has undergone many shifts in the last 16 years (since the birth of our child) and the 20 years (while working with kids as a teacher and therapist). I hope some of these insights might help you understand your parenting and maybe make a shift that could benefit your family. When we take this time to understand our parenting and why we do what we do, we get a chance to understand ourselves more deeply. Happy exploring!

Labor Day was first celebrated on September 5th, 1882. The Fair Labor Standards Act came much later, in 1938. This act assures that when young people work, the work is safe (dol.gov). Less than a century ago, the main job of a parent was to keep their children's arms from being caught in machinery. When you think about this deeply, it is pretty profound. The psychologists who created the foundation of Positive Discipline (Dreikurs and Adler) worked around the turn of the century and understood families' plights. If we delve into the difference between sending a kid to a factory and sending a kid to school, we see our parenting approaches have to make massive shifts. I used to wrestle more with these shifts. When we parent from a democratic and positive stance, it’s not always pretty. Why can’t I get my child to “behave”? Why does she tantrum in public? Why does he talk back at home? Why can’t I control this kid? I think, "I would have never acted like this."” Why? In part because my parents came out of depression-era families and in part because I lived in an authoritarian culture. I also feared the punishment, which was sometimes a spanking!

This shift toward a more democratic way of seeing “family” is slow, and I think our generation has a real opportunity to change. While there are so many ways to redirect these unwanted behaviors, I think it’s more and more positive that we let children have their emotions. Let go of the control and let them be. This does not mean we let the limits go. There are rules, and we must show and teach children how to be a part of society. As our world has evolved, so has our focus on how to guide children through childhood. Of course, there are different ways of parenting, and your house is your home, yet I see this shift toward a more positive and disciplined approach to be just that...positive! 

How does this relate to what you do right now? First, if you are already on the path toward a more democratic form of parenting and you feel under-supported in your peer group, you are not alone. I find this all the time. In our house, we aim not to punish or reward. We deal with misbehavior and treat it as “misguided behavior.” We look at the belief behind the behavior. See my linked resource of the “Mistaken Goal Chart.”  

Sometimes, when our children misbehave, we may want to hurt back because we feel hurt, yet that is not the most skillful adult choice.

So what do we do? #1. We have a weekly family meeting (see the PDF you might have gotten for free if you signed up for my mailing list). It is also found here. Meetings for young kids only need to be about 10 minutes long and can happen in the car!

We have been doing this daily for 16 years, making a difference. The other parts of our family that seem to work are contributions (aka chores) and using positive statements. See my quick link on "curiosity statements" as well. See more guidelines for family meetings at this link. #2 We talk a LOT: What happened today? What were the highs and the lows? Oh, you seem pretty upset right now. Maybe we all need to have some time to relax. #3 We try not to schedule (for the most part). We respect that our kid needs a lot of downtime “just” to do Legos or art or zone out. I am inspired by blog posts and parents who also walk this path, like Rachel Macy Stafford, & Dr. Laura Markhman. 

In short, I seek help on the Internet or with my friends. If you want to deepen your parenting goals, reach out. If you have a question for me, reach out. I would appreciate your support if you are inclined to pass this blog along to a friend. And lastly, something to say to ourselves from Rachel Macy Stafford: 

“Be kind to yourself. You are doing the best you can”.

checking in 2021

Dear folks, how are you? What a time? It seems we are indeed continuing to live in some of the most deeply perplexing, sad, and sometimes damn scary days of our lives? I got off all social media except Twitter and mighty networks last November and I have to say that is helping my soul on a level (more on the latter soon). Regarding pandemic fatigue, I am cognizant that this may have been a part of your life before the pandemic (fatigue, anger, lack of access) and if that is so I am deeply hopeful you find a way to rest every chance you get. Take note from this now-famous site, if you don’t know it please check it out: “The Nap Ministry was founded in 2016 by Tricia Hersey and is an organization that examines the liberating power of naps. Our “REST IS RESISTANCE” framework and practice engages with the power of performance art, site-specific installations, and community organizing to install sacred and safe spaces for the community to rest together.”

validate

One of the biggest things I have learned in all my years of teaching, parenting, and therapy is to try very hard not to invalidate what my kid brings to me. SO, if she says "I am stupid no one likes me" after MANY years of my own therapy I have learned to say "that sounds horrible...tell me more..."....or I just sit quietly with her in that dark place. I know this seems counter to what we might want to do but I find in the long term she knows she can bring me the “hard parts”. Does this resonate? Please email and let me know your throughs. I often feel as though I am dragging my clients to this realization...but I feel it deep in my soul now. Who else other than a therapist / educator (aka mom) will listen to these parts? I am not saying I am my kids' therapist at all but I think reflection is the best part of therapy and not what we typically think of when we think of "a therapist". I think we think of the poor examples on TV and in Movies. Though there are some decent examples and I would be curious which TV or movie therapist you might like. My deep hope is one day her good friends will listen to her sad parts but I am not sure they connect on that level yet. Happy to hear push back or questions about this. AND please know I boost her up too, saying "you worked so hard on that test prep." Or "I see how you are getting yourself to school each day prepared". Notice I don't only say "I am so proud of you". There is some decent research around this kind of giving the kid the power. Also, I had a lot of false propping me up in my life that landed in a kinda fake way, so I might have overcorrected in this area. Hope this is making sense, I will be adding content here each week. Stay tuned!